PART 1: Who Are the Fucking Idiots in My Neighborhood?
If nothing else, I hope this song gets stuck in your head.
EDIT: Here’s the link to Part 2.
I've been meaning to write this long-ass article for a long-ass time, but it kept being pushed to the bottom of the stack due to me having to continually address the ongoing antics of the Left. After seeing it continue to grow in length (the article) and knowing the attention span of many of my readers is limited to the commercial break time during football games, I’ve decided to break it up into two parts, with Part 2 timely coming out on Halloween (subscribe if you want it to be automatically delivered to your inbox that day).
The title of this article comes from Sesame Street's infectious jingle:
If you haven't heard it before, it's because you didn't grow up as an awesome GenX kid in the most rad era of all time - the 1980s, of course. Trump approved! A time when a billionaire playboy could grab kitties when they were throwing themselves at him.
Here’s a slight re-working of this song, not appropriate for the Sesame Street of the 1980s, but I’m sure it would be in-line with the social vulgarity of the woke DEI communist indoctrination version that tries to pass itself off today as Sesame Street:
"Who are the fucking idiots in my neighborhood, in my neighborhood, in my neighborhooooood, say...
Who are the fucking idiots in my neighborhood, the morons you're forced to see each day!"I'm humming this happy tune now to offset the amount of idiocy I'm forced to mentally relive while writing this. Please note that the premise of this article is one of non-partisanship idiocy, as there are Democrat and Republican idiots (the former though being Satanic, pedophile-enabling, communists). But, don't worry, I will still provide my usual witty, hard-hitting partisan quips, where necessary (and so as not to disappoint you thinking I've gone soft).
Prior to starting this literary masterpiece, my editor reminded me that my writing style is at a very high level, requiring many readers to do something difficult: think. I agreed and suggested that I will dumb it down by throwing around expletives, reducing the intellectual intensity, thereby preventing many from entering a state of catatonia when seeing just big words and complex sentences. I may even throw in a yinzer reference here or there to bolster your attention span.
You see, 90% of a typical Southwest PA resident's brain is dedicated to mindless gladiatorial games as a distraction from the horrors of Democrat party policies. Fans are voluntarily lobotomized with football and pizza, instead of the "bread and circus" of superficial appeasement, as in the days of Caligula's Roman Empire. Caligula loved his horse, Incitatus, so much that he gave the prized steed a marble stall, an ivory manger, a jeweled collar and even a house. This is the kind of treatment only afforded to our Senators and Congressmen… and illegal aliens. You peasants gets sportsball and watered down, cheap piss-tasting 'Arn City.
Allow for some introspection and think about why you support college and pro sports after the domestic terrorist organization, BLM, was able from the sidelines to have people kneel to a false god and incite white-guilt and racial hate and divisiveness, on live television. Just because our parents were glued to the TV watching sports (back when it wasn't politicized and staged), doesn't mean we need to continue wasting our time with something that doesn't provide us with any meaningful engagement in our lives.
Enough lecturing and on with the show. I hope you enjoy learning about who the fucking idiots are in my neighborhood (sadly, equally applicable to many other neighborhoods in Norwin).
Keeping up with the Dumbasses
When I first moved into my new development and was invited to peek into others' homes for design ideas, I was struck by how many had contractor white walls, simple interiors, first floor carpeting, sparse IKEA knock-down furniture, etc; incompatible with the outside appearance of their McMansion homes. This told me that they had scrounged for pennies to put up a 20% down payment with nothing left over. Contrasting this with folks who have a $75k car parked outside their $15k trailer home, this is an order of magnitude dumber. Please understand, I'm not denigrating anyone's lack of financial means whatsoever. My mother brought me to the United States with $400 in her pocket and didn't get any taxpayer subsidies, unlike these foreign invaders forced into our communities by the Anti-American leftists and RINO business owners profiting from cheap labor. However, I am questioning the financial decision-making that doesn't align with one's reality.
I was further enlightened when I heard folks at neighborhood parties justifying the financing of their new pools using lower interest rates from a home equity line of credit, based on the supposed appreciation of their property. There's no rational basis for effectively extending your 30 year mortgage with additional payments by reducing your paid principal for things you can't afford and are certainly not considered a need. Contrary to what your equally stupid parents made you believe growing up as an entitled millennial moron, you really don't deserve anything unless you've earned it (like dollar and cents earned and not feel-good earned). One couple who installed a pool (on credit, of course) didn't have the up-front cash to pay for a properly sized concrete deck, resulting in a half width lounger area, forcing them to angle their loungers at 45 degrees to fit within that area. These fucking idiots have no clue what it means to be fiscally responsible. Yet, it was the lovable oaf, Clark Griswold, who was the one who waited for cash-in-hand before he purchased his pool outright:
But my favorite story comes from my discussion with one of my neighbors (let's just call him Dumb-Ass to protect his identity - I knew he was an idiot before this, yet didn't know the extent) who approached me during the height of Covidiocy and asked me if I was going to get the Covid "vaccine" - yes, yes, vaccine, safe and effective <wink, wink>. I said, "Of course not. I’m not a fucking idiot!" I asked him if he was going to get jabbed. Dumb-Ass said he didn't want to, but that his employer mandated it. I chuckled and replied, "That sucks, but at least you get to tell them to go fuck themselves." I was expecting a reciprocal laugh, but there was just awkward silence followed by Dumb-Ass looking at me like I was from another planet (where only smart people live). "But Alex, I have a mortgage to pay." I replied, "Dumb-Ass, it's really simple. You tell them to go fuck off; you quit; you live off your savings; and in a year they'll welcome you with open arms after the hysteria has died down. Otherwise you can look for an employer who respects your free will." He said, I don't have that kind of money and walked away, defeated. You see, Dumb-Ass is living in a $600k+ home. You're not supposed to be in a $600k house living paycheck to paycheck. If your situation is like that of Dumbass, common sense would tell you to have saved up for a rainy day (or a mandated anti-health, anti-body-autonomy campaign), and if you can't save, you're in the wrong house.
This classic, early Internet commercial summarizes the above, nicely:
Oh yeah, I could go on about other questionable decision-making like that of idiots in my neighborhood who feel they deserve a new car every two years and those who continue to get further upside down in their loans by tacking the negative equity of their trade onto their new loan, but I think I've made my point on fiscal irresponsibility in my neighborhood.
During this draconian time, I remember waiting in the pharmacy line for my wicked sarcasm pill refill and I could tell that folks financially less fortunate than Dumb-Ass (e.g., not living in a $600k+ home) were frustrated, defeated. They rolled up their sleeve for the pharmacist, having to make a decision between giving up medical autonomy or putting food on the table. Fuck all the employers who mandated this shot and didn't grant exemptions. I'm aware that in some sectors the government strong-armed some employers, but at the end of the day, there was always a choice by these employers - resist and sue - but instead they fell back on: "Vee ver only following zee orders of zee Fuhrer! Vee made zem get zee death shot, because vee are self-serving and morally corrupt.” I hope a day comes when those who enforced the unconstitutional government mandates are tried for crimes against humanity, but, if they are judged only on the other side, then I wish them an eternity of pain for what they did to their fellow man. Until then, suck my unvaxxed cock, you evil fucks.
To those who were able to stand strong against politicized, medical tyranny, I salute you and award you with the coveted Pureblood Certificate.
I go off on these tangents when I become passionate about exposing the hurting of the innocent. That’s because I’m a compassionate conservative - and I’m not being sarcastic here.
Dumb Dem Boomers
The first month I moved here, a neighbor was always eager to share with me what he had learned from his nightly CNN indoctrination. "Shit," I said to myself. "I can't believe these dumb Democrats live on my street." It's true, the voting rolls indicate that the majority of boomers in my neighborhood are Democrats. Nothing wrong with an old-timer Democrat who woke up to the Pedophile Party's true intentions, can't be bothered to change their registration, but who now votes straight Republican. However, we have stupid Democrat boomers living in my neighborhood who continue to vote Democrat because they know their dad voted for JFK. Newsflash gramps; Jack was actually a conservative in his views and would be booted out today faster from the Pedo Party than Brain-Dead Biden was (which was pretty damn fast, nullifying the will of the equally brain-dead Democrats who elected him).
Morally Depraved Fucks (and Cucks)
Once I got into politics and started interacting with my constituency, I started learning so much about the darker side of Norwin. I got to know who the drunks were, who beat their wives, who cheated on their spouses, who the thieves were, and what couples are into partner-swapping (and I'm not talking about swing-dancin’ ho-downs - although there are plenty of hoes in Norwin), or worse. Yes, every neighborhood has them: swingers - and I'm disturbed that I know who they are in my neighborhood. Nasty fuckers, literally. I had to educate myself on their sexual narcissism, how they attempt to justify the act of watching other men spit-roasting their wives. Amusingly, they call this "ethical non-monogamy." Apparently if you participate in orgies, and three-ways, and four-ways, et al., and generally violating your marriage vows with multiple other depraved morons, it's considered "ethical" as long as your spouse is informed.
OK, I can't talk about this any more, as it's making me start to throw up in my mouth.
Let's move on and talk about Ditzy (typical narcissist, bleach blonde type) who cheated on her husband with her bull-dyke lover while her husband was away on business trips. I guess she also screwed over her kid since she condemned the kid to be a child of divorce (seems to be the majority, now) because she refused to properly address her homosexual mental disorder and selfishly refused to wait to act out on her carnal perversions until the kid was out of the house (you know, what normal parents would do). I was told that her husband finally caught on that she favors "scissoring" with what questionably appears to be a woman (ouch, what a hit to one’s masculinity), instead of accepted arts and crafts scissoring with their kid (you know, again, what normal parents do).
Don't get me wrong, as I mentioned in another article, I have nothing against single, hot lipstick lesbos (of which these two are anything but) who want to express their horizontal (or whatever direction) love for each other, but there's definitely a problem when the narcissistic behavior of such psychologically unstable people adversely affects the mental well-being of their spouses and children, and thereby society at large, and the commitment, spirituality, and sanctity, inherent in a healthy marriage. Hallelujah, amen!
What happened to the good old days when we had normal, red-blooded American, heterosexual cheating? I’m joking. It’s all wrong. Here's a novel idea for my neighborhood and others: if you want to be an animal in heat without any neuromoral control in your prefrontal cortex, then don't get married! I know, Alex is using big words, again. Let me regress and rephrase: Don't fuck other people if you're married! It's a very simple concept, yet very hard to understand for some of the idiots who literally are… fucking idiots in… many neighborhoods.
Part 2 is coming next week.
And just remember, if none of the above applies to you, then congrats, you’re NOT a fucking idiot in my neighborhood! Hold on, hold on… I got ahead of myself. There’s still next week where we cover the following:
A Calendar. It’s Useful. Use it.
Hormone Replacement Therapy
Instagram Mommies
The Politics of Not Having a Backbone
Trust Mommie Dearest
So, there’s still a chance! Until next week, just keep humming that song. And speaking of neighborhoods, I suggest a visit to Charleroi this weekend so you can see what cultural enrichment is coming to Norwin in the near future thanks to your Democrat and RINO friends who want to destroy our community. On the bright side, we won’t have to worry about fucking idiot neighbors. We’ll be preoccupied worrying about foreign invaders! At that point, I would take Dumb-Ass and Scissoring Ditzy as my immediate fucking idiot neighbors without criticism! Clone them hundredfold!
See you in a week.